A few simple words on the word 'crisis'
I wonder what impact hearing that word from every media outlet all day long could have on us?
‘Crisis’ implies suffering and danger in the present moment.
It is undeniable that there are people facing very real crisis at the moment – the crisis of severe, life-threatening illness, the absolute crisis of losing loved ones, the crisis of losing jobs and financial security putting into jeopardy housing and food security.
But let us all check on a personal level: ‘Am I in crisis?’
Current events will impact us on a spectrum: The spectrum may run from mild frustration, to annoyance, to feeling unsettled, to worry, to anxiety, to deep stress, to strong fear, to grief – it is these last 3 that fit the ‘crisis’ classification. Check where you are on the spectrum.
Phrases like ‘lockdown’ and ‘panic-buying’ suggest a crisis mentality – one that may not actually match the reality.
Meditation teacher, Tara Brach, has a nice way of ‘turning it around’. She suggests that rather than use the word ‘lockdown’, we use the word ‘retreat’. Doesn’t that sound lovely? It sounds conscious – as if I’m slowly stepping backwards into my space, rather than being forced back behind closed doors.
On ‘panic-buying’: One person’s anxiety may have led to buying a whole trolley of toilet paper but then the rest of us are simply buying toilet paper because we realise there may be more ‘panic buyers’, and that a few extra packets might be worth buying because we don’t want to be caught short. In my mind this is just weighing up the likelihood of whether there will be toilet paper next time we shop and rationally and sensibly assuming there may not, so buying some more. This doesn’t make us panic-buyers. It makes us good at probability thinking. We’re not gamblers.
Many emails and messages around cancellations and closures are ending with the words ‘stay safe’ implying a certain unsafety looming. It is worth checking how ‘unsafe’ you are at the moment. What are the threats to your safety?
We are in the blessed position of knowing how to stay safe – wash our hands and keep our distance from others.
The technologies of medicine and mass communication will keep us safe as no other generation has experienced before in times of pandemic. We’re lucky in this.
My advice would be to stay safe in your thinking.
Ask, ‘Is it true?’ when we start to use the language we are hearing around Covid-19. Someone said today, ‘It’s just one crisis after the other at the moment.’ Is that true? ‘The bushfires, then Corona Virus’ – 2 crises from which the vast majority of us have not suffered.
Ask, ‘Is it true?’ when we start to feel worry and fear rising in us?
We live in one of the safest, cleanest, well-resourced countries on the planet. Our supermarket shelves were empty yesterday but they will restock. If we start using a word like ‘crisis’ now what happens when the reality of a crisis arrives on our door? We’ll run out of language – which is the second worst thing after running out of toilet paper!
Refugees are in crisis, people trapped in slavery are in crisis, people who lost so much in recent bushfires experienced crisis.
Check if you have lost anything, if you are struggling …
Notice the beauty of our species to adapt, to make contingency plans, to make jokes, to not argue with closures and cancellations but to simply accept and move on. In a time when we are all supposed to be narcissists look at us all -staying away. There are no protests of 501 people, gathering, sneezing on each other in defiance of the authorities’ demands – we lost our tickets to a concert, a holiday, a football game and we got sad and then we got fine with it. That’s community.
Words like ‘crisis’ and ‘lockdown’ and ‘panic’ can put our brains into survival mode. Note if this is happening to you and check the reality of your house, your family, your friends (not the media’s version of reality). If you can find a calmness, a safety, a preparedness around you, then drop the worry and allow that creative brain of yours to switch on. Recognise there could also be opportunities here, potential …
Plan projects that you can do solo or together with the people you share your house with. Music projects, garden projects, DIY projects, art projects – photography, painting, craft, etc – writing projects, cooking projects. Model building, board game designing, daydreaming, future holiday planning, fitness routines – walking, yoga from home, push-ups. Think forward to returning to work and school and start preparing for that – anything you could start now knowing that one day everything will get back to normal? Many of us will be working from home. How might that be as efficient, cosy and satisfying as possible?
Don’t be scared unnecessarily it will interrupt the potential in this time – the chance to connect more with those around you (and those you have to keep a distance from – set an alarm to text and send emojis and photos to loved ones, especially those who are elderly to keep them feeling connected) …
There will be people who will struggle to pay their rent and mortgage, bills and food bills within the next little while. We can focus on those who need our help – make sure that we mitigate against individual crisis. And if you need help, now is a great time to practice asking for it. We have the networks – don’t be shy to put your hand up and say, ‘I’m running out, may I share some of yours’? ‘I’m snowed under with changes at work, babysitting, etc can you help me with … ?’ What opportunity for vulnerability. Reach out – metaphorically …
Limit exposure to media – wash your mind of the virus of worry from over-information. Distance yourself from the daily conversations and updates … If you’re reading this then trust that anything important will get through.
Returning to the spectrum of feelings I described above – worry, distress, fear – could we also add, ‘cautious anticipation’, ‘curiosity’, ‘wonder’, and even a little ‘excitement’?
In squeaky clean communing with you,
Gisela
giselaboetkercounselling.com
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0421 407 004