Services
Gisela is available for face-to-face sessions in Thornbury, Victoria or online via Skype or Zoom. There can be some hesitancy about working online, however clients who use this service report feeling comfortable and secure being in their own home for the session and find the outcomes are as significant as if working face-to-face.
relationship counselling
‘The quality of our life is determined by the quality of our relationships.’ This was the finding of a 75 year-long study conducted by Harvard University into human happiness (Grant & Glueck, 2014).
‘Quality’ refers to ‘how much vulnerability and depth exists within your relationships; how safe you feel sharing with one another; the extent to which you can relax and be seen for who you truly are, and truly see another’ (ibid). The notion of ‘safety’ is key to secure-functioning relationships. In counselling we look at what gets in the way of your need and the other’s need for safety.
Employing Stan Tatkin’s psycho-biological approach to understanding our styles of relating we look to see how we might be soothed or triggered in our relationships, and how we might soothe or trigger the other. In our sessions we can talk very specifically about tools you might use to shift your relating style to one that serves you well, rather than causes you stress.
These principles stem from couples therapy but there are aspects that we can apply to all relationships – family, friends, colleagues, etc. The key to quality relationships is the capacity to communicate in a way that expresses your self while remaining empathic to the other. In our sessions we can look at the tools of effective communication to bring a more satisfying and productive experience to your interactions.
We can work to improve your relationships so that you might find your place in the community of people you call your own.
childhood issues
It is sometimes hard to face just how much our childhood experiences can impact our capacity to function as adults. But when we consider that during childhood:
– fundamental neural pathways were laid down,
– we absorbed the behaviour modelled to us by our caregivers,
– we may have experienced trauma if events in our early years were too overwhelming to integrate at the time,
– our parent or parents were our world and if they weren’t consistently safe we may have adapted in ways that concern or confuse us now, in our adult lives.
In holistic counselling we have a variety of techniques that work directly with that which we carry from childhood. We work beyond your story to settle on specific moments or sensations and address the needs that went unseen or unmet at the time. In so doing, we can take the freedom that adulthood affords us and live in a way that feels truly ‘grownup’.
stress management
Stress is ubiquitous. Counsellors understand stress as the client’s nervous system being in a state of overwhelm. Experienced as pressure or tension we work to discover the underlying causes, and what is getting in the way of a stress-free life. How are our beliefs, thoughts or emotions contributing to stress? We look to address these and create a path through the stress to a place where either the stressors themselves might change, or our attitude to the stress might change.
unwanted thoughts or emotions
If it’s true that our head and our heart belong to us, why can it sometimes feel like we have no control over our thoughts and emotions?! The same thoughts, the same emotions might crowd into our awareness daily. And if these thoughts or emotions are in any way negative they can feel like a burden that can then feel exhausting.
In holistic counselling we look to see what the thought or the feeling is pointing to? What might its purpose be? What is the need that is going unmet? How can this repetitive thought or emotion in fact serve us in our desire for self-awareness or peace? In the safety of the counselling partnership we can explore the thread of the thought or emotion and find the root cause. From this point we can work to create a new response or a new way of responding.
depression and anxiety
As a holistic counsellor I understand depression and/or anxiety as a symptom to be addressed. Together, we will ask, ‘What is depression or anxiety a symptom of?’
While some might consider depression an emotion or an illness I have come to understand it as a lack of emotion, as a way to keep emotions at bay, as a way not to feel. So what might be sheltering behind depression? What is the fear behind the anxiety? Why might these symptoms be getting in the way of our self expression?
Another way of asking it is, ‘What are our depression and anxiety protecting us from?’
Generally speaking, I do not see depression and anxiety as life long ailments. The therapy process is towards healing. It is towards resourcing the client in such profound ways that the depression or anxiety is no longer required. And if we develop insight into our depression and anxiety, what Dan Siegal calls ‘mindsight’ – the capacity to know our minds – we can name them, we can inquire into them, we can discover what it is they have for us to learn.
trauma and grief
Trauma and grief manifest and are expressed differently for each person. Each can cause symptoms that feel overwhelming and out of place in everyday life. Working with the body we acknowledge the emotions that are associated with traumatic events and loss. Moving through each stage we address what arrives next to clear the grip these experiences have and give the client a sense of a gradual softening around the trauma or loss.
sexual issues
Emily Nagoski writes in her book, Come As You Are (2015), that each person has their own particular mixture of what turns them off and what turns them on in a sexual sense. She refers to these different modes as our ‘brakes’ and our ‘accelerators’. For example, trust can be an accelerator and therefore, not trusting a partner can be a brake. For each person they are different, much like our personalities. And these brakes and accelerators each shift with context.
Stress is associated with our brakes. Love is associated with accelerators. In holistic counselling we use Nagoski’s worksheets to determine what your brakes are and what your accelerators are. And what is getting in the way of creating stress-free contexts for your sex life to play-out in. We can introduce (or re-introduce) the ‘goal’ or experience of pleasure into your sex life to reinvigorate this nourishing and nurturing realm of life.
chronic illness and pain
If we see our body, mind and soul as a system, rather than as separate parts of ourselves, we can see how each part is linked. Chronic illness and pain can have roots in many different places, for example our past, our thoughts, our energy systems, etc. In holistic counselling we look to see what threads might link back to other parts of ourselves and be showing up as body symptoms. We can look at the beliefs you hold around your illness or chronic pain and how these do or don’t serve you. We can look to find acceptance of the ailment or clear the burden that is showing up as pain or illness.